Grand Theft Navy Apoc

So I'm busy bopping around. Whee! When I find this:

Holy mother of god...I screenie it and link it in a few channels, sitting in the belt with the abomination. When I get a private conversation:

Johnathan Rambo > state your intentions please
Zedrik Cayne > How could you?
Zedrik Cayne > How...
Johnathan Rambo > what?
Zedrik Cayne > Could you.
Zedrik Cayne > Aren't the screams from the ship burning your brain?
Johnathan Rambo > convert a battleship? boredom and money
Johnathan Rambo > state your intentions please

And..he drops a can. He can't possibly..No...way...I burn over there. Double checking. He's got 8 mining lazers by the looks of it by visual inspection.

Johnathan Rambo > Zedrick please keep your distance
Zedrik Cayne > You're not seriously can mining in that...

And I take the whole can. Wasn't much in there. He pops out...Fed Navy Hammerheads and Warrior I's.

Johnathan Rambo > you poor bastard

And, I'm aggroed...Lock the poor guy up. And start the long...long process.

Johnathan Rambo > alright i gave what do you want
Johnathan Rambo > dude come on
Johnathan Rambo > what do you want just let me live man
Zedrik Cayne > 400 mil..and the scram comes off.
Zedrik Cayne > And you never...ever...ever...mine in that again.
Johnathan Rambo > alright i can promise the mining thing just stop firing, and all i ahve is 49 mil on hand
Johnathan Rambo > and i wont come after you afterwards
Johnathan Rambo > or send anyone after you
Zedrik Cayne > You don't have the isk to send someone after me.
Johnathan Rambo > i know just ket me live bro you made your point
Johnathan Rambo > i will give you the isk i have
Zedrik Cayne > I don't think you properly realize the level of epic involved with this kill.
Johnathan Rambo > dude please
Johnathan Rambo > come on man

He lights up in local:

Johnathan Rambo > someone please help me i am under attack please
Johnathan Rambo > anyone?

Back in our private conversation:

Zedrik Cayne > Offering 100 mil in local?
Zedrik Cayne > Where you get the extra cash from?
Johnathan Rambo > stuff i can sell in my base
Johnathan Rambo > dude please let me live
Johnathan Rambo > come on man all i have on me is 49 mil just take it and leave

And in local:

Johnathan Rambo > someone help me please 100 million to save me
GreatSaltedOne > 100m to save you?
Johnathan Rambo > yes i am under attack and have no weapons
Zedrik Cayne > He doesn't have the cash.
Zedrik Cayne > Otherwise he would have paid the ransom.
GreatSaltedOne > ransom? wtf did you get yourself into

Let me just leave this here:

And this:

And..wtf he ejected?!?!?!??!

Leave my ship behind, get this back into station and come back to get the itty...Oh look..He's in a mach! (If he had come in much closer to me..I'd have given it a shot)

And lets cart it off to Jita!

Someone go buy it!

EDIT: The very next night...http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=16310295 Lost the mach to a wolf. If only he had landed closer...