It had been a while since I had seen someone thoroughly stink up local...so I paid a visit.
With this, begins...the Socratic Files.
Let me first introduce you to the biggest Killboard Padding statistic that I've personally run into:
http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/combat_record.php?type=player&name=Socratic
At the time of this writing...3 billion in kills...25 billion in losses.
The Socratic Files will not be in the traditional investigation format, because dear reader, I've actually been paid to give the man a hard time. But since he is not in a player corporation, traditional invesigation won't work.
And to be frank, there is *so* much material available in chats, that it would consume many, many, many pages. So I've distilled it down as much as I can. Apologies to those who love the full chat logs on things, but it is simply not possible.
Upon entering Arnon, one of the first things I see:
Socratic > I'm busy fitting the next of my 40 gilas
Socratic > how does it feel to have absolutely no affect
And he is going to need those Gilas...At the rate he loses them. (Along with all sorts of other shiny faction and navy ships)
Here we have a Methusela pilot. In game six years. (Not constantly training apparently.) Yet, he doesn't quite have base game mechanics down:
Socratic > 30 seconds is deagro time dock interval
Socratic > simple math
Socratic > rocket launcher running out of ammot does not deaggro
Socratic > jump clone is designed for travel over long distance
Socratic > but you need to have good sec status and lots of restrictions
John Arcturas > i see you socratic
John Arcturas > what do i get for killing a wanted man?
Socratic > nothing here
Socratic > you can't kill a pod in hi sec
And those are just a few of the gems this guy has been spewing over local channels.
Then there is the horrible, horrible smack:
Socratic > I am going to pick up a billion isk
Socratic > be back soon
Socratic > did you copy that all you arnon loser griefer blobber punks? I say a billion!
Socratic > you bunch of griefing losers
Knight Commander Arbosa > HAHAHA Zedrik killed Socratic 3 times over the past few days.
Zedrik Cayne > Um..twice.
Knight Commander Arbosa > oh wait i guess twice. Kate Mosh did the final blow to teh Gila
Socratic > Knight Commander Arbosa so you live vicariously through others because you will never be able to afford a ship that can do it yourself?
Socratic > is that it, loser?
Knight Commander Arbosa > Hahaha
Socratic > field a ship and lose it
Socratic > and then lose two worth 500 mil in a few hours
Socratic > and go buy new ones
Socratic > if you can't then shut up
Socratic > the only intelligent conversations here are when I speak alone, Andrich
Socratic > why don't you just shoot at this pod, you freakin' loser and let concord tak your mach and then leave this system forever?
Socratic > you know you suck
Socratic > everyone knows you suck
Socratic > get the heall out of my system
Misha Konstantine > butthurt
Zedrik Cayne > Sounds like it.
Socratic > DiaLatho you are useless and I intend to make your life hell
Socratic > leave the system while you can
Oh, and the impotent threats:
(At this point, Socratic has moved from Arnon to Amod..Another SOE station system)
Socratic > Zedrik Cayne there's nothing you can do to me here, asshole
Zedrik Cayne > Ah..ye have little faith.
Socratic > it's ye "of" little faigh
Socratic > faith
Socratic > but ther you were always stupid
Socratic > then
Zedrik Cayne > Don't try telling me what I am misquoting.
Socratic > I don't try I do
Socratic > you are illiterate and stupid
Socratic > it's obvious
Socratic > your time here is wasted
Zedrik Cayne > I'm being well paid to be here.
Socratic > and I have 10 contracts out on you
Socratic > I pay better
Socratic > but you are too stupid to realize it
Zedrik Cayne > I am easy to find.
Socratic > and easy to kill
Socratic > this is the place where your noobness will shine
Socratic > idiot
Not a day later: http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=13306317 and http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=13306347
Running missions in lowsec. And getting probed out. Too bad he doesn't follow his own advice:
Socratic > and learn how to scan for scanner probes
Socratic > you have a scanner
Socratic > if you set it right you can see probes looking for you and run
So welcome to the Socratic files...I'm going to be running through all my various chat logs to entertain you with the best of Socratic.
And while you're at it, come and visit Arnon. He's back to hanging out there.
I LoL'ed. I would like to get in on this action. What do you do just steal from a wreck or something to make him attack?
ReplyDeleteWell, there is also the matter of me being paid to do this. Apparently he stole a mission item from the wrong rookie... Whoever the rookie is, he has directed me to warn everyone in Arnon about his thieving ways.
ReplyDeleteAnd posting up cans that say that he steals and ransoms back epic arc mission items to rookies. Works a treat.
He also has 'claimed' the system as his own. Can baiters are not allowed so he picks them up.
Excellent read ZedrikCayne, I hope you can provide us with more material soon.
ReplyDeleteIt's a perfect relief to a boring day at work :)
Thank you very much for that!
Hah, I happened to do the arc not too long ago just to quell my curiosity. This guy was in local and it was quite anoying having to listen to him boast and rant...though that irritation was alleviated upon undocking many times throughout running arc missions (the ones around arnon) and seeing this fellow constantly reduced to a pod.
ReplyDelete