Monday, May 24, 2010

The next IEEE Adventures. Zenith Labs

So, the IEEE has been looking for a new investigation for a while now. Soliciting suggestions from friends, and we think that we have now found a winner.

We would like to introduce you to..Zenith Laboratories. We are also happy to reintroduce you to Le Soltuer. Former head of the Underworld Excavators who has shut it down and started Orignal Sin.

Out of the blue a few days ago, Original Sin. declared war against a random target. Zenith Laboratories. This began a flurry of eve-mails from various interested parties.

From the CEO of Zentih Laboratories:

Subject: Bring it on
From: Circuit Sorcerer
Sent: 2010.05.18 06:21
To: ZLABS Directors, Le Soltueur,

Obvoiusly you do not realise who you warededced my friend.

We will fight you and will destroy you every time you want to engage... We are veterans of Providence wars, and love 0.0 battles ... but since you have brought it to us in a high-sec place it makes it so much easier... as we have ll our ships and modules and ammo centralised ... You have totally screwed your self...

Let the fighting BEGIN! I will take pleasure in destroying your best ships and your best pilots...

Thanks! We needed a littele distraction from our current waiting period between 0.0 space...

I hope your little PvP pilots will prove wothry adversariees... not a bunch of pussies... .. oh dont't tell me you are a bunch of uk pussies ... that log off or cloak in the middle of battle..

ha ha ha

GANK ya Later!

-Circuit

And another:

Subject: wardec
From: Circuit Sorcerer
Sent: 2010.05.18 07:37
To: ZLABS Directors, Le Soltueur,

I have thought this over....


we will offer nothing but obliteration to you... reconcisder your actions...


This is your last chance to back off...

We want this war... we want the opportunity to destroy the likes of you. You are little men. You do not have the opportunity to walk with the walks of like us.

This is your final warning... Take it to heed... or risk the outcome. WE WILL NOT back DOWN.... We will hunt you down like animals.

Fly Dangerously!

Circuit

Quite the attitude from a veteran of the Providence wars...on the CVA side...

Right.

A few days later, after the opening of the war, in Solty's public channel:

Le Soltueur > o/ Circuit
Circuit Sorcerer > 0/ and you pulled mein here why?
Le Soltueur > Just wanted to let you know that we've up and moved to Amarr to be a little closer to you
Devilous > o7
Devilous > Amarr?
Le Soltueur > just for this war, Dev.
Circuit Sorcerer > well it would be difficult to wage from DoDixie, no?
Le Soltueur > Figured if you were gonna hunt us like dogs, Circuit, we'd make it easier for you to find us.
Circuit Sorcerer > rgr
McNutter > not if u keep sending vexors at me :Blush:
Le Soltueur > That -is- what you said, didn't you?
Le Soltueur > wait... let me look at the mail..
Circuit Sorcerer > In a rash moment, yes I did
Le Soltueur > "Let the fighting BEGIN! I will take pleasure in destroying your best ships and your best pilots... "
Le Soltueur > "I hope your little PvP pilots will prove wothry adversariees... not a bunch of pussies... .. oh dont't tell me you are a bunch of uk pussies ... that log off or cloak in the middle of battle.. "
Le Soltueur > so...
Le Soltueur > where and when?
Circuit Sorcerer > will get back to you on that, but not now.
Le Soltueur > I see...
Le Soltueur > so your standing orders are "dock the hell up" then?
Devilous > lol
Devilous > sound plan
Circuit Sorcerer > I must admit that the rash words were ... ummm unprofessional
McNutter > we dont have to take a damn number do we ?
Le Soltueur > people say things in the heat of the moment.
McNutter > i hate those ques
Circuit Sorcerer > for that and only that I wish that I had not uttered them
Circuit Sorcerer > but alas, the deed is done, and what is done cannot be undone.
Le Soltueur > I understand, of course. Spending a year in the merc business going after 3600 man alliances and such...
Le Soltueur > people say things that they don't mean all the time.
Zavulon Sukkot > Circuit, is your regret sincere?
Circuit Sorcerer > for my words yes
Zavulon Sukkot > Perhaps an offering of isk could indicate your sincerity in this matter.
Circuit Sorcerer > not gonna happen
Le Soltueur > He's not ready for that Zav.
Le Soltueur > Not yet.
Zavulon Sukkot > Ah. Forgive my suggestion then.
Le Soltueur > Maybe in a few weeks he'll want to sit down and chat, civilly.
Le Soltueur > But for now, those words REALLY fired up my team of rapists and savages...
Le Soltueur > and they raging hard ons.
Le Soltueur > they have*
Circuit Sorcerer > I am intriqued at the tactic of inviting me into your pub channel but not suprised.
Le Soltueur > tactic?
Le Soltueur > lol
Le Soltueur > mate, it's no tactic.
Le Soltueur > It's a public chanel.
Circuit Sorcerer > i c
Le Soltueur > that's what it's there for.
Michella > I was told there would be cupcakes.
Devilous > believe me Solty is like adog with a bone, just keep looking in your rear mirror mate.............
Circuit Sorcerer > Well with that said I will go back to role of observer. I trust this sits well with you?
Le Soltueur > The last time some asshat popped their mouth off before engaging their brain cost their alliance 100 members, 4 billion isk in damage, and the inability to move anywhere without wondering when the gank would happen
Le Soltueur > you're more than welcome to idle here.
Le Soltueur > Just try to be more ... thoughtful, before running off at the mouth, hmm?
Le Soltueur > btw - loved the convo from the friend of yours in BLAST that's been with them for what.. 12 whole days?
Le Soltueur > (this time around)
Michella > That broke my heart. Here I was hoping it was a real BLAST diplo, and we were going to go make secksy time with them :(
Le Soltueur > I know Mich.
Le Soltueur > Ah well.
Le Soltueur > Words.
McNutter pats mich's back there there lil one
Le Soltueur > For now, we'll just have to wait on baited breath and filled boots
Le Soltueur > "This is your final warning... Take it to heed... or risk the outcome. WE WILL NOT back DOWN.... We will hunt you down like animals."
Le Soltueur > Please don't turn out to be a liar, Circuit.
Le Soltueur > Lord knows there's enough of them in EVE.
McNutter > LOL we've been scammed of a war... hate that shit
Michella > plus then we have to call the IEEE and report it, and noone wants to become the next Joe Show.
Le Soltueur > oh gawd...
Zavulon Sukkot > maybe he's joe's alt.
Le Soltueur > you wouldn't sic Zed on them..
Le Soltueur > that's just ... cruel.
Michella > I would Sir, I would

So I get these eve-mails forwarded and the preceeding conversation forwarded to me.

Analysing the killmails, the conversations, the IEEE has determined the Zenith Laboratories very poorly run, a lack of standards amongst its pilots and leadership. Poorly run training programs, and a high tax rate for the level of service the leadership appears to hand out to its members.

So, I begin the investigation with the traditional conversation with the CEO.

Zedrik Cayne > Good evening.
Circuit Sorcerer > so funny.. .I am actually a I.E.E.E. member...
Circuit Sorcerer > so what's up Zed?
Circuit Sorcerer > I.E.E.E. (irl)
Zedrik Cayne > We here at standards and Practices have become aware of some strong deficiencies in your corporations operating standards as of late.
Circuit Sorcerer > let's cut the pleasantries... what do you want?
Zedrik Cayne > Correction of your corporation's operating standards to bring them into alignment.
Circuit Sorcerer > Brother I am not into role playing ... just be blunt
Zedrik Cayne > I think you misunderstand. We have noticed several kills showing up on public killboards in reference to your current war.
Zedrik Cayne > Obvious mission fits during wartime.
Zedrik Cayne > And the likes.
Circuit Sorcerer > and?
Circuit Sorcerer > your point is?
Zedrik Cayne > We would like to see this behavior corrected, and are willing to start a full investigation into your corporate practices to ferret out any other poor practices and failure of adherances to good standards.
Circuit Sorcerer > well, I have no time for the likes of this. goodby.

A very busy and rude gentleman. So, I time my war declaration to take full advantage of my wardec with the imperial commonwealth. In doing so, I act like a bit of support for le Soltuer's cohorts. Trusty Helios. They've collected in a safe spot in Kor-Azor Prime.  Pick one, and warp at 20km.

Well, they're a tad spread out. And I get decloaked on one of them. Holler in fleet to get everybody in and...they light me up. Not just targetting...guns were appaently hot and the pilots intent on ignoring the concord warning. Three explode in very short order. The rest of them still yellowboxing me. (Apparently smart enough to heed the big warning.) And the original sin guys show and mop up everybody too slow to warp out.

The next day, my first loss of the war. Passing out at the wheel. My poor vexor dies to a small fleet.

Reconnecting, and looking around in Nahyeen. I find an abundance of wartargets. Some of them even undocked. Peering around..a griffin. A plethora of others. Let's see what they think of it when there's someone at the helm.

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=10384509
http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=10384508
http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=10384508
http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=10384507

And that was before Original Sin got in on the act. They were a bit busy earlier in the day with Zenith Lab's POS.

During the ensuing fight....their CEO seems to rage quit...while in space... With aggro...

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=10384688

Soon afterwards, during a nice sleep time, I get a nice private conversation:

Circuit Sorcerer > Greets
Circuit Sorcerer > I am here to negotiate the terms of your surrender.
Circuit Sorcerer > Our Terms are a total cease of hostilities towards my corp, and an ISK payment of 1.5billion isk.
Circuit Sorcerer > I will take your silence as a rejection of my offer. I do warn you it will grow in value, week by week. I urge you to end this madness that is being brought onto you and your corp as quickely as possible.
Circuit Sorcerer > goodbye

I'm not certain that the man gets it. And today:

Zedrik Cayne > I would like to formally 'reject' your 'offer' as such.
Zedrik Cayne > I don't think you quite get this part of our interactions...
Circuit Sorcerer > very good then
Circuit Sorcerer > I accept your rejection
Zedrik Cayne > And I certainly hope you did not make the same offer to Le Soltuer'
Circuit Sorcerer > not yet.. he is not quiet ready for it yet
Circuit Sorcerer > quite,
Circuit Sorcerer > When you are ready to negotiate our terms I will be inclined to listen to you.
Circuit Sorcerer > until then we have nothing to say to one another. Good Day.

Now I am certain he does not get it. Welcome to the next installment of the IEEE Adventures.

5 comments:

  1. Hahaha, I've dealt with this asshat before. Sprsrs internet spaceships right here. Some weird delusions that they're an important Corporation. Retarded bureaucracy and overwrought official sounding Corp titles. Then their headlong dive into the Proviblob. I'm glad someone is finally giving them the proper beatdown they deserve.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love how you find these shmucks, Zed. It's almost a thing of beauty. Surprised one of my corps didn't run into 'em in some form or other, since that was where we hung out for a good while.

    Anyway ... have fun! Moar stories, quickly!

    Cheers,
    tMmM!

    ReplyDelete
  3. lol you are so funy zed by trying to brake my corp up and as it is not werking you have faled to do what you have plend and as we have now found you spy that you plened in zlabs it is going to be you down forl............... so kiss me ass

    ReplyDelete
  4. ^ The average intelligence of a ZLabs member on display.

    I can see from their killboard that the Providence wars did teach them that no ship is complete without a cloak.

    ReplyDelete
  5. O7 Zed,

    Nice to see you are still doing what we do best.

    regards,

    Orions Lord

    ReplyDelete