So, I log on and one of my corpmates is all excited...he was beating upon Joe most mightily with his stealth bomber. When? Just now..And Joe was logged outside station...righty, hop in the covops throw some probes out there and...logon...Hm...dock and grab a drake. Between me and the corpmate...Joe docks.
(Well, it would seem that someone finally showed Joe how to fit a ship...that's not the WCS special)
After a couple dock/undock sessions...I leave my corpie out there and pick up some more dps. Gank-a-brute. I roll out and..hm...there is a second red guy out there and a sudden explosion.
http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=8276862
Notice, no Joe on the killmail. But, I figured that he *must* have aggressed. So I start in on him..and he docks (huh? Whatever). In the meantime, the rupture has been plinking away at me from 20km (With autocannons?) So I throw my drones on him and he decides that warping away's a good idea.
Right...maybe Joe will aggress something smaller. Let's grab a vexor.
He sits about...15km off the undock and down.. Still within docking range (damn these Caldari stations with their docking ranges of doom) Throw some drones on him and wait and watch...His tank stabilizes around 50% at which point, a cane undocks... Right, let's throw the drones on him and *ow* freaking autocannons. Sit and duke it out toe to toe for a bit...but someone's got more buffer on than I do...time to hit the GTFO button...MWD out of range and warp out.
Joe Phoenix > zedrik kayne your a pussy...
Joe Phoenix > zedrik cayne
Joe Phoenix > is a pussy
So, I warp back, got to pick up the drones I left behind (poor drones)
As I hit the station..Joe actually docks (huh?) And I leisurely go and pick up my orphaned drones. Joe pops a conversation:
Zedrik Cayne > Yes Joe?
Joe Phoenix > god your suck a pussy....
Zedrik Cayne > Says the man who kept docking :)
Joe Phoenix > and then undocking...
Zedrik Cayne > Yup...
Joe Phoenix > your fucking lucky i don't have your corps now..
Zedrik Cayne > Corpse...
Zedrik Cayne > Corpse Joe.
Zedrik Cayne > And I'm still out here.
Joe Phoenix > yes congratz zedrik... i droped to e for the sake of droping an e
And I dock..because while I was still out there....I had no armor left (kisses an 800 rolled tungsten) Dock and...receive wife aggro...severe wife aggro.
When I come back much later...I see that there's been some eve-mail sent out that got anonymously forwarded to me several times:
2009.10.17 01:40
Last night we engaged a group of enemey ships outside jita 4-4 station. we did not lose a single ship and we inflicted alot of damage on our enemies. i would like to thanks zeedon and role play for helping out.
Joe pheonix
grand commander of the commonwealth.
And Joe gets a reply:
2009.10.17 12:48
Good job grand commander, I hereby promote you to Rear Admiral of HYDRA RELOADED, you will have the power to command any, and all Hydra capitals, including our Titan and Super Carrier wing.
Welcome to the Joe Show...where a lot of damage is a stealth bomber.
EDIT: To add the reply that someone sent me :)
I have a photograph/screendump/capture of the fight that a friend took clearly showing the ICSS Phoenix receiving a torpedo spread. Was there even any weapons on Joe's ship or just shield boosters and chargers?
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling that these Hydra guys (which are, at best, trying and failing to be the next GoonSwarm - seriously guys, you suck) picked up Joe for the sole purpose of taking him to high heights - and then dropping him ass-first onto a giant, rusty metal spike. In the future, be on the lookout for a "HYDRA PROVAILS OVUR JOE" thread. Hilarity will ensue. You heard it here first, folks - The Hydra/Joe Alliance is just a ploy.
ReplyDelete"2009.10.17 12:48
ReplyDeleteGood job grand commander, I hereby promote you to Rear Admiral of HYDRA RELOADED, you will have the power to command any, and all Hydra capitals, including our Titan and Super Carrier wing."
Wait ... what?!?!? That HAS to be a joke. Zed, you should find a way to suck Joe out there, and test that. Andrea may well be right - I really feel that whole alliance thing is too good to be true (for Joe), as well - but still. Anyone who says such stupidity as the quoted about deserves punishment. I bet there's any number of low-sec forces that'd love to help (lure 'em into Tama, for instance ... and you'll get the attention fo BYDI, Sniggwaffe and the Caldari and Gallente FW bunch, who all take a childlike delight in killing every capital they can).